MS Walk in Weyauwega

Mother's Day

I was SO EXCITED for my first Mother's Day with Cassie, Jordan, Noah, AND Muluken! I was looking forward to a day that was ALL ABOUT ME!! Yes, I'm being a little bit dramatic here, but I wasn't prepared for what my Mother's Day ended up being. I think the next two pictures will say it all...

Yes, Muluken shut down. Again. All day. Didn't want to talk. Didn't want to smile. Wouldn't make eye contact. Didn't understand that it was Mother's Day. This was my day to celebrate my 4 children. This was my day to be happy.

He went to bed at 9:05pm that evening after being silent for so long. Way past his bedtime. It got better around 8:50pm. The little bit I got out of him pointed in the direction of being mad at Brad and Noah for going turkey hunting in the morning. Then he was mad at me for talking to Brad. And the kids. He was mad. He wasn't happy and he didn't know how to work through it or how to tell us what was wrong.

It was a VERY long day. And not the happiest day, but it was still my Mother's Day. And yes, this too shall pass.

A Few More Updates...

Muluken got his first "buzz cut" in America! Check out that hair!

And last but not final...

Our latest addition to the Rucks family....

Ruby, the barn cat turned house cat...

She's such a sweetie!!

And taking the life of a princess house cat VERY SERIOUSLY!!

So, you're probably wondering WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD THEY TAKE ANOTHER ANIMAL TO LIVE IN THEIR HOUSE?!?!?!?  Yes, that would be the million dollar question. So, here is the VERY long story, condensed down to a very short story...

I took the girls and Muluken to the mall on a Saturday afternoon to meet up with Dorinda and our friend, Stacey, and her daughter for lunch and some catching up. Stacey's daughter wanted to do some shopping and Muluken was getting bored in the girly stores, so I thought I would take all of them down to the Pet Stop store, in which the local humane society was selling items to raise money. And of course they have a few animals in the store, so of course I had to go check them out.

So, Jordan found a kitty that she just loved. It was a calico and was super playful. I had NO INTENTIONS of applying to adopt this kitty, but Jordan's pleading really got to me. So, I asked the question on what the process was like. Fill out an application and play with the kitty to see if you like it. Seems simple. Right?!? So, I completed a 2 page form and then we all played. And laughed. And had fun. Muluken just loved playing with the kitty. OK, I'm a sucker for a child and a new pet. So I went out and told the lady we really wanted to get the kitty. She took the kitty out of my arms and told me somebody would call on Monday or Tuesday and let me know if we got her.

What?!?!?! You didn't say we had to wait! We left and shopped a little more. Muluken went silent. Total shut down. Until 7:15pm that evening. Yikes! He did take a HUGE step though. He told me he wasn't happy and he TOLD me that he wanted to talk about it. He said, "Mom. Cat. Home?" Oh my gosh. He was upset that the cat didn't come home.

OK, so now I'm on a mission to get the kitty. I took Brad, Noah, and Muluken back to the shop on Sunday. When we walked in the store, the lady stated, "Here's Voilet's family!" (Yes, Violet was the kitty's name) So, we went in the back again and played with our little kitty. Muluken and Noah were having so much fun and Brad was even smiling. So, we went out of the back room and put the cat back in the cage. Three ladies all told us that Violet is perfect for us and we will make Violet such a great family to be with. One woman even let Muluken pick out a toy on the wall (FREE) and take it home to play with Violet when she finally gets there. How cool was that!

We headed to the pet store and bought a few cat toys. We couldn't wait. Fast forward to Tuesday afternoon. Still haven't heard from the humane society, so I called. A woman with a very sweet, sing-songy voice answered. I told her who I was and what I wanted. She put me on hold and then came back on. She then stated that "I'm sorry. Violet went with another family." WHAT THE HECK?!??! I told her how the ladies at the store told us that the cat was ours. I told her how the lady on Saturday told us she wrote APPROVED on our application. I told her how they told my son, who's been through so much in his short life, that this was HIS kitty! She sweetly said, "Have a great night!"

Yes. I totally lost it and let her have it. Looking back, I would probably do it all over again, but really, did I need another pet? Another kitty?

Well, YES I did. I talked to Brad and then headed down to the barn with Jordan and Muluken. We found one of our barn kitties and I took it to the house. Actually, it was a blessing that I picked this kitty because it had some type of cold or infection and needed an antibiotic from the vet. From that moment, our barn-turned-house kitty, named RUBY, has become a princess in our home! She hasn't even tried to get out of the house. She sleeps with me in our bed and follows me around the house. She waits for all of us to get home and tries to get us to pick her up and pet her. She purrs really loud and likes to play! Can you tell that we love her already?!?!

Long time, no post...

Time flies when you have 4 kids, 1 hubby, 3 horses, 4 dogs, 2 puppies, 2 cats, 2 rabbits, 3 horses, 3 alpacas, 1 turtle, 1 fish, 2 frogs, and a barn full of cats!

So, where do I start? I guess updates from my earlier posts are due.

Jordan did not break her elbow. She did bruise her growth plates pretty bad, which caused a LOT of pain to my girl! She had to be in the cast for one week and then in a sling for the following week. She missed 3 track meets and she hasn't let me forget it!

Muluken survived the dental surgery with flying colors. I took him back to the dentist the following week and we were literally out of the room within 30 seconds. Everything looked great and he has even lost another tooth since then.

Muluken has also mastered the 2-wheeler in record time. We tried that first Sunday evening and then didn't get on the bike again for over a week. The next time we went out, I had him ride around in the yard, which helped him figure out his balance. He went back and forth a few times by himself within 10 minutes. Then the next day, he asked to go outside and ride his bike by himself. I told him to put his helmet on and go on the grass.  The next thing I know, he was yelling from outside, "Mom. Look at me!" I looked out the front door and saw Muluken doing circles and crazy eights on the concrete pad in front of the garage. He had the BIGGEST smile on his face! He did it and hasn't looked back since.

Muluken also got his first ride on a moped, thanks to his gym teacher, Mrs. T. We were at Cassie's softball game in Wega and Muluken pointed out the moped and told me "Mom. Motorcycle!" Mrs. T. told Muluken the moped was hers and he stated, "No Way!"  Mr. T. asked him if he would like to go for a ride (the first time he has ever met Mr. T.) and he never hesitated. The entire softball team had turned around when Muluken started giggling with a squeal. He was SO EXCITED!! He's already been on the moped for a second ride this week. He's such a lucky little man! I told Mr. and Mrs. T. that they didn't have to do that, but Mrs. T. said it is fun to join in on Muluken's "firsts". How true that is!

Noah was in a drama play at the end of April. This was the first time Muluken had watched kids in a play at our school, and he just LOVED it. He watched his brother with pride and clapped all the time for him. The funny part is that Noah didn't have ANY speaking parts throughout the entire play. He was a silent artist and also a silent guard. No singing. No dancing. No talking. Too funny!! Muluken was just so proud of his brother for dressing up so silly! :)

Here are a few pics from the drama play:

The HAPPY Guard

The BORED Guard

The VERY PROUD little brother!

(Check out those 2 new front teeth!)

Muluken and Noah also had their "Spring Fling" singing program at the end of April. This was Muluken's first performance in front of people at the school. WOW!! As you can tell from the next two pictures, Muluken did NOT want to look at the crowd. He never saw Brad or I in the bleachers. All he had to do was look straight forward~but that never happened. He did try to sing along a little bit but he mostly just watched his friends.

He wouldn't even look at these pictures on my camera. What a little man!

Here are a few pictures of the Big Brother singing with his fourth grade class:

Now this little man is quite a performer!

Why Not U.S. Kids?

I read an article in my Adoptive Families magazine this week and feel that I need to post it for others to read. I am often asked why we decided to adopt internationally rather than from the United States. What many others do not know is that Brad and I were licensed for foster care and were told that not many children would be placed with us due to our home location away from the county courthouse and services.

After 3 weeks being licensed, we were told at 5pm on a Friday evening that we needed to quickly get ready for 3-year old twin boys. They needed to placed quickly, so make sure we had car seats, clothes, and daycare lined up. So, we did. We ran around that weekend getting everything ready. Then, we waited. And waited. And, after 3 weeks of waiting, we were casually told that the boys went somewhere else. These boys weren't available for adoption. They just needed a safe home. We weren't even allowed to do that for them.

So, after more thought about what we really wanted and many phone calls to the State of Wisconsin's adoption resource group, we decided that doing foster care with the hopes of adopting would be a very long and probably not-so-happy ending. So, then we started looking into international adoption.

After reading this article and talking to other international adoption families, we are not alone in our thoughts.

Impassable Borders

"Interstate barriers keep children in foster care, while willing parents are ignored."

By Jeff Katz

For many years I ran an agency in Rhode Island that recruited families to adopt children from that state’s child welfare system. Like many such organizations, we had a “waiting child” feature on a local television station. After one of our TV spots showed a seven-year-old black boy named Justin, I got a call from a woman in Massachusetts. She was a lawyer, and her husband was a doctor. Both were black. She told me that they had been considering adoption for several years. They saw Justin and were moved by his story. They prayed. And they decided that they would adopt this child.

But they couldn’t. Rhode Island could not legally provide a homestudy to a Massachusetts family. And Massachusetts would not use state resources to prepare a family to adopt a child from another state. This situation repeats itself, every single day, in America. The simple fact is that it is virtually impossible to adopt a foster child across state lines in the United States.

In the most recent year for which we have data, states reported that 71 children were adopted from foster care across state lines by non-relatives. For perspective, consider the fact that the national weather service estimates that 600 Americans are struck by lightning each year.

Despite common misperception, the problem is not a lack of people wanting to adopt a child from foster care. Analysis of the most recent National Survey of Family Growth shows 600,000 American women seeking to adopt a child. The vast majority was willing to adopt the kinds of foster children we label “hard to place”: black and Hispanic kids, older kids, kids with disabilities. For every waiting child between six and 12, there were eight prospective parents.

Given the intensity of the need and the number of families willing to adopt, why is interstate adoption so rare? The primary reason is that we do not have a national adoption system. Instead, we have 50 different child welfare systems, each with its own process for adoption eligibility, recruitment, approval, and training. Even worse, our system has created disincentives for states to support adoptions across state lines. Each state pays the cost of recruiting and preparing its own families, with no compensation if the family adopts a child from another state. In other words, each interstate adoption has a “winner” (the state that sends the child) and a “loser” (the state that receives the child).

In the current system, it makes more sense to keep an in-state family waiting indefinitely than to match them immediately with a waiting child in another state. This issue is especially significant in large metropolitan areas that straddle state lines, such as New York City, Chicago, and Washington, D.C. Incredibly, this win-lose pattern holds true across county lines within many states.

There is a vast number of variables for both prospective parents and waiting children. Parents entering the system do much soul-searching to decide what kind of child they are able to parent. When a pediatric nurse in a small community says she wants to adopt a child with spina bifida or another developmental birth defect, she may wait years before one is available in her community. Meanwhile, 50 miles away, in another county, a child waits.

It is a national scandal that 25,000 children age out of foster care each year, while willing adoptive parents are ignored because they are in the wrong state, or even the wrong county. We must change the incentives in our adoption system so that everyone wins when a child finds a forever family.


JEFF KATZ is the founder and executive director of Listening to Parents (listeningtoparents.org), a national organization designed to eliminate barriers to the adoption of children in foster care.

Riding a 2-Wheeler...

Since we had some extra time sitting in hospitals this past weekend, Brad and I got to talking about how Muluken has turned into a little dare devil his bike. He received a new 2-wheel bike with training wheels for his birthday in March. Muluken would ride his bike every day if he could. But, since it had training wheels, the bike gave Muluken a lot of confidence. He was riding with "no hands" down the road and also down the HILL in our yard! He was also trying to "jump" the bike, in which he could get the wheels off the ground.

So on Sunday evening after dinner, Brad went out and took off the training wheels. Muluken went outside and said "oh my goodness" with a laugh. He quickly got his bike helmet and went down to the road with his dad and Noah. I went with the camera and encouragement.

Muluken was all smiles and laughs but couldn't quite get the hang of it. Brad was hanging onto his shirt and making sure he didn't fall into the ditch. Noah was showing him how to balance on his own bike, but then Muluken wanted Noah to ride his bike. Muluken had an idea that his bike was broken and not driveable.

Noah got on Muluken's bike and started riding it down the road. This only got Muluken MORE excited. He quickly ran after Noah and wanted his bike back. Brad took him for a few more trips down the road and then called it a night. Muluken was grinning from ear to ear!

2nd Trip to Hospital in 48 Hours

So, if our weekend wasn't exciting enough, we went to Ally's confirmation open house at her home in Neenah on Sunday. After eating some AWESOME food, we were all outside when Noah came and told me that Jordan needed me. Of course, I say "why?" and he said, "No Mom. She REALLY needs you!"

So off I went around the house and there was Jordan laying on the grass, crying her eyes out. She was in a lot of pain. She was holding her left arm, near her elbow. Oh great, another broken elbow (4 years ago, Cassie broke her elbow). So I calmed her down and told her we'll take her in for an x-ray.

We left the other kids at the party and headed to Theda Clark Hospital. After about 2 hours of waiting, talking to doctor and nurses, and x-rays, they didn't think she broke her elbow but didn't want to take any chances until an orthopaedic surgeon checked her out. So, they put on a hard-molded cast on her arm and put her in a sling. Nice! Now, we have a drama queen with a cast! She actually texted her friends to let them know what was going on before we even got home. UGH!

So of course, being the scrapper that I am, I had to take more pictures at the hospital!

Tomorrow we find out what's the verdict if the arm is broken...

It's Been Awhile...

So where do I begin???

Last Friday, April 16th, Muluken went into the hospital for dental surgery. He had work done on 12 teeth. He ended up getting 1 silver cap, 2 caps on his front teeth, and 9 fillings. OUCH!! He handled it like a trooper.

Brad and I both took him in to St. E's. Muluken was put into a room and within minutes, we had at least 4 other people in the room. Muluken was smiling until I tried to put his hospital gown on. He took a step backwards and said "no way" with a nervous laugh. Brad and I needed to work together to get the gown on and his clothes off. Brad switched the cartoons on the tv, which helped distract Muluken with all of the nurses and doctors in the room.

Brad and I walked along with Muluken as he was wheeled down to surgery. He was still smiling but that changed quickly when the nurse told us to say goodbye. Muluken was REALLY MAD! The nurse tried to put the blue beanie cap on his head and Muluken jerked his head away and said "NO". No more smiles from my Muluken.

Muluken was gone for over 2 hours. What a LONG WAIT!! He came back pretty tired but OK. He drank some water and started to watch some cartoons in which he finally started to wake up. The smile returned to his cute face. :)

Of course, being the scrapper that I am, I had to take some pictures of Muluken's first hospital visit.

Happy little guy for just having dental surgery!

The BIG 4-0!

Yes, I turned "40" yesterday! I've been thinking a lot about reaching this milestone all week while I was on spring break.

Turning "40" means that I will have spent half of my life with Brad by my side.

Turning "40" means that I'm "OLD" according to my kids.

Turning "40" means that I'm halfway to "80".

Turning "40" means that another day has passed & life has not stopped moving on by.

So, of course, my OLDER sister and OLDER brother felt they needed to throw a surprise birthday party for me. If you know anything about me, you should know that I HATE surprises! Brad knows this. But, he still went along with the plans. Dorinda was even in on the surprise. That might HAUNT her in the future! LOL!

Dorinda was the instigator to get me there. She called in the morning and said that she wanted to go out with us for dinner. I wanted to go to the Country Inn. She and Noah wanted to go to Channel Cats ~ to see the fishing boats. Boy, am I gullible! I told her I would call back with the time. When I saw Brad at lunch time, he said that we should go at 6:30pm. WHAT?!?!?! That is SO late for us to eat. He said we always eat late. HUH?!?! No we don't. I gave him a hard time, but he said that would be better. Then Dorinda said that would work better for her too. OK, I'm still not understanding this but I go along with it.

I went shopping on Friday afternoon with Muluken & Jordan at the mall. We met Kris and the girls there, and I even invited them out to dinner with us that evening. They said that they all had plans. Hmmm. Then, I had to pick Noah up at Uncle Steve's house. I asked them to meet us at Channel Cats for dinner too. They said they would think about it. I even called Mom to meet us for dinner and she said "maybe".

So, you might be thinking how this turned out. Well, it was about 6pm on Friday. Thirty minutes before we're to meet Dorinda at Channel Cats. Everybody was getting ready to go out for dinner, but Muluken was kind of moving slow. Noah told him to hurry up and get ready for Mom's birthday party. Muluken came right to me and said, "Mom, birthday party?" What?!?! I proceeded to ask Jordan and Noah if there was a party for me. They both ran away with grins on their faces. Terrible liars! I marched right down to Brad and asked him. He started laughing and said "I knew this was a bad idea!"

Oh, I was so mad! I tried calling Dorinda and she wouldn't answer. She knew how much I DIDN'T want a birthday party. And here she was part of it! And Brad...he knew he was in trouble!

Noah started crying because he thought he ruined everything, but I told him that I was SO HAPPY to know beforehand. I gave him big hugs and told him we had a party to get too.

So even though the "SURPRISE" was missing, the party was still fun! Here are a few pics of the birthday girl and guests!

Maggie (the other birthday girl, whose MUCH younger)

Happy Easter!

It was a windy but nice Easter Sunday. Jordan & Noah were up at 6am, looking for their baskets. They woke Muluken up around 6:30am, and Cassie around 7am. Everybody found their baskets and the 29 eggs in the house. Brad (Easter bunny) had a good time hiding everything last night. We went to the 9:30am church service and then off to Aunt Kris' home for lunch.

Muluken had his first Easter egg hunt today in Aunt Kris' yard. I made Brad follow him around to make sure he knew what he was doing (& to take pictures), but Muluken figured it out really quick. He made a haul of candy and money!