Happy (belated) 10th Birthday Noah!

Noah turned 10 years old on Monday, May 17th, so of course we had to have a birthday party on Sunday the 16th. He requested a "turtle" party but came up short. The store couldn't make a turtle cake and we couldn't find any party decorations with just turtles (unless you want Ninja Turtles!).

So, we switched the party to a "turtle and fish" theme, which suited Noah just fine! Jordan and Noah decorated the entire kitchen and living room area on Saturday evening, and it really turned out great. We picked up a few balloons during the day, such as an enormous fish and seahorse, and they really added to the theme!

We had everybody come over for lunch at noon. We did our usual "deli sandwiches", in which everybody just makes their own sandwiches, from meat, rolls, and fixings. Everybody gets to make what they like and there isn't much for leftovers this way.

Noah had TWO pinatas, thanks to Jordan, who told me that Muluken needed to really feel the excitement from breaking open the pinatas. I think I was had!! The kids LOVED all the candy and we even made it up to Casey in breaking both of them. This is huge, because we usually only make it through the young kids and the pinata breaks. Casey is 16!

Noah's favorite presents: a new compound bow, a fishing bow (to shoot the fish in the water), clothes, money for Brewers' tickets, gift card to Scheel's, more money, Kinex legos, and a new pitching machine to help him practice his batting for baseball. He made quite a haul!!

What a handsome boy!

I LOVE YOU NOAH!!

We have a SECRETARY in the house...

That would be secretary of our FFA. Cassie was named the FFA Secretary for the 2010-2011 school year. She was SO EXCITED!! She also received quite a few awards, including 2 plaques.

Congratulations Cassie!

MS Walk in Weyauwega

Mother's Day

I was SO EXCITED for my first Mother's Day with Cassie, Jordan, Noah, AND Muluken! I was looking forward to a day that was ALL ABOUT ME!! Yes, I'm being a little bit dramatic here, but I wasn't prepared for what my Mother's Day ended up being. I think the next two pictures will say it all...

Yes, Muluken shut down. Again. All day. Didn't want to talk. Didn't want to smile. Wouldn't make eye contact. Didn't understand that it was Mother's Day. This was my day to celebrate my 4 children. This was my day to be happy.

He went to bed at 9:05pm that evening after being silent for so long. Way past his bedtime. It got better around 8:50pm. The little bit I got out of him pointed in the direction of being mad at Brad and Noah for going turkey hunting in the morning. Then he was mad at me for talking to Brad. And the kids. He was mad. He wasn't happy and he didn't know how to work through it or how to tell us what was wrong.

It was a VERY long day. And not the happiest day, but it was still my Mother's Day. And yes, this too shall pass.

A Few More Updates...

Muluken got his first "buzz cut" in America! Check out that hair!

And last but not final...

Our latest addition to the Rucks family....

Ruby, the barn cat turned house cat...

She's such a sweetie!!

And taking the life of a princess house cat VERY SERIOUSLY!!

So, you're probably wondering WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD THEY TAKE ANOTHER ANIMAL TO LIVE IN THEIR HOUSE?!?!?!?  Yes, that would be the million dollar question. So, here is the VERY long story, condensed down to a very short story...

I took the girls and Muluken to the mall on a Saturday afternoon to meet up with Dorinda and our friend, Stacey, and her daughter for lunch and some catching up. Stacey's daughter wanted to do some shopping and Muluken was getting bored in the girly stores, so I thought I would take all of them down to the Pet Stop store, in which the local humane society was selling items to raise money. And of course they have a few animals in the store, so of course I had to go check them out.

So, Jordan found a kitty that she just loved. It was a calico and was super playful. I had NO INTENTIONS of applying to adopt this kitty, but Jordan's pleading really got to me. So, I asked the question on what the process was like. Fill out an application and play with the kitty to see if you like it. Seems simple. Right?!? So, I completed a 2 page form and then we all played. And laughed. And had fun. Muluken just loved playing with the kitty. OK, I'm a sucker for a child and a new pet. So I went out and told the lady we really wanted to get the kitty. She took the kitty out of my arms and told me somebody would call on Monday or Tuesday and let me know if we got her.

What?!?!?! You didn't say we had to wait! We left and shopped a little more. Muluken went silent. Total shut down. Until 7:15pm that evening. Yikes! He did take a HUGE step though. He told me he wasn't happy and he TOLD me that he wanted to talk about it. He said, "Mom. Cat. Home?" Oh my gosh. He was upset that the cat didn't come home.

OK, so now I'm on a mission to get the kitty. I took Brad, Noah, and Muluken back to the shop on Sunday. When we walked in the store, the lady stated, "Here's Voilet's family!" (Yes, Violet was the kitty's name) So, we went in the back again and played with our little kitty. Muluken and Noah were having so much fun and Brad was even smiling. So, we went out of the back room and put the cat back in the cage. Three ladies all told us that Violet is perfect for us and we will make Violet such a great family to be with. One woman even let Muluken pick out a toy on the wall (FREE) and take it home to play with Violet when she finally gets there. How cool was that!

We headed to the pet store and bought a few cat toys. We couldn't wait. Fast forward to Tuesday afternoon. Still haven't heard from the humane society, so I called. A woman with a very sweet, sing-songy voice answered. I told her who I was and what I wanted. She put me on hold and then came back on. She then stated that "I'm sorry. Violet went with another family." WHAT THE HECK?!??! I told her how the ladies at the store told us that the cat was ours. I told her how the lady on Saturday told us she wrote APPROVED on our application. I told her how they told my son, who's been through so much in his short life, that this was HIS kitty! She sweetly said, "Have a great night!"

Yes. I totally lost it and let her have it. Looking back, I would probably do it all over again, but really, did I need another pet? Another kitty?

Well, YES I did. I talked to Brad and then headed down to the barn with Jordan and Muluken. We found one of our barn kitties and I took it to the house. Actually, it was a blessing that I picked this kitty because it had some type of cold or infection and needed an antibiotic from the vet. From that moment, our barn-turned-house kitty, named RUBY, has become a princess in our home! She hasn't even tried to get out of the house. She sleeps with me in our bed and follows me around the house. She waits for all of us to get home and tries to get us to pick her up and pet her. She purrs really loud and likes to play! Can you tell that we love her already?!?!

Long time, no post...

Time flies when you have 4 kids, 1 hubby, 3 horses, 4 dogs, 2 puppies, 2 cats, 2 rabbits, 3 horses, 3 alpacas, 1 turtle, 1 fish, 2 frogs, and a barn full of cats!

So, where do I start? I guess updates from my earlier posts are due.

Jordan did not break her elbow. She did bruise her growth plates pretty bad, which caused a LOT of pain to my girl! She had to be in the cast for one week and then in a sling for the following week. She missed 3 track meets and she hasn't let me forget it!

Muluken survived the dental surgery with flying colors. I took him back to the dentist the following week and we were literally out of the room within 30 seconds. Everything looked great and he has even lost another tooth since then.

Muluken has also mastered the 2-wheeler in record time. We tried that first Sunday evening and then didn't get on the bike again for over a week. The next time we went out, I had him ride around in the yard, which helped him figure out his balance. He went back and forth a few times by himself within 10 minutes. Then the next day, he asked to go outside and ride his bike by himself. I told him to put his helmet on and go on the grass.  The next thing I know, he was yelling from outside, "Mom. Look at me!" I looked out the front door and saw Muluken doing circles and crazy eights on the concrete pad in front of the garage. He had the BIGGEST smile on his face! He did it and hasn't looked back since.

Muluken also got his first ride on a moped, thanks to his gym teacher, Mrs. T. We were at Cassie's softball game in Wega and Muluken pointed out the moped and told me "Mom. Motorcycle!" Mrs. T. told Muluken the moped was hers and he stated, "No Way!"  Mr. T. asked him if he would like to go for a ride (the first time he has ever met Mr. T.) and he never hesitated. The entire softball team had turned around when Muluken started giggling with a squeal. He was SO EXCITED!! He's already been on the moped for a second ride this week. He's such a lucky little man! I told Mr. and Mrs. T. that they didn't have to do that, but Mrs. T. said it is fun to join in on Muluken's "firsts". How true that is!

Noah was in a drama play at the end of April. This was the first time Muluken had watched kids in a play at our school, and he just LOVED it. He watched his brother with pride and clapped all the time for him. The funny part is that Noah didn't have ANY speaking parts throughout the entire play. He was a silent artist and also a silent guard. No singing. No dancing. No talking. Too funny!! Muluken was just so proud of his brother for dressing up so silly! :)

Here are a few pics from the drama play:

The HAPPY Guard

The BORED Guard

The VERY PROUD little brother!

(Check out those 2 new front teeth!)

Muluken and Noah also had their "Spring Fling" singing program at the end of April. This was Muluken's first performance in front of people at the school. WOW!! As you can tell from the next two pictures, Muluken did NOT want to look at the crowd. He never saw Brad or I in the bleachers. All he had to do was look straight forward~but that never happened. He did try to sing along a little bit but he mostly just watched his friends.

He wouldn't even look at these pictures on my camera. What a little man!

Here are a few pictures of the Big Brother singing with his fourth grade class:

Now this little man is quite a performer!

Why Not U.S. Kids?

I read an article in my Adoptive Families magazine this week and feel that I need to post it for others to read. I am often asked why we decided to adopt internationally rather than from the United States. What many others do not know is that Brad and I were licensed for foster care and were told that not many children would be placed with us due to our home location away from the county courthouse and services.

After 3 weeks being licensed, we were told at 5pm on a Friday evening that we needed to quickly get ready for 3-year old twin boys. They needed to placed quickly, so make sure we had car seats, clothes, and daycare lined up. So, we did. We ran around that weekend getting everything ready. Then, we waited. And waited. And, after 3 weeks of waiting, we were casually told that the boys went somewhere else. These boys weren't available for adoption. They just needed a safe home. We weren't even allowed to do that for them.

So, after more thought about what we really wanted and many phone calls to the State of Wisconsin's adoption resource group, we decided that doing foster care with the hopes of adopting would be a very long and probably not-so-happy ending. So, then we started looking into international adoption.

After reading this article and talking to other international adoption families, we are not alone in our thoughts.

Impassable Borders

"Interstate barriers keep children in foster care, while willing parents are ignored."

By Jeff Katz

For many years I ran an agency in Rhode Island that recruited families to adopt children from that state’s child welfare system. Like many such organizations, we had a “waiting child” feature on a local television station. After one of our TV spots showed a seven-year-old black boy named Justin, I got a call from a woman in Massachusetts. She was a lawyer, and her husband was a doctor. Both were black. She told me that they had been considering adoption for several years. They saw Justin and were moved by his story. They prayed. And they decided that they would adopt this child.

But they couldn’t. Rhode Island could not legally provide a homestudy to a Massachusetts family. And Massachusetts would not use state resources to prepare a family to adopt a child from another state. This situation repeats itself, every single day, in America. The simple fact is that it is virtually impossible to adopt a foster child across state lines in the United States.

In the most recent year for which we have data, states reported that 71 children were adopted from foster care across state lines by non-relatives. For perspective, consider the fact that the national weather service estimates that 600 Americans are struck by lightning each year.

Despite common misperception, the problem is not a lack of people wanting to adopt a child from foster care. Analysis of the most recent National Survey of Family Growth shows 600,000 American women seeking to adopt a child. The vast majority was willing to adopt the kinds of foster children we label “hard to place”: black and Hispanic kids, older kids, kids with disabilities. For every waiting child between six and 12, there were eight prospective parents.

Given the intensity of the need and the number of families willing to adopt, why is interstate adoption so rare? The primary reason is that we do not have a national adoption system. Instead, we have 50 different child welfare systems, each with its own process for adoption eligibility, recruitment, approval, and training. Even worse, our system has created disincentives for states to support adoptions across state lines. Each state pays the cost of recruiting and preparing its own families, with no compensation if the family adopts a child from another state. In other words, each interstate adoption has a “winner” (the state that sends the child) and a “loser” (the state that receives the child).

In the current system, it makes more sense to keep an in-state family waiting indefinitely than to match them immediately with a waiting child in another state. This issue is especially significant in large metropolitan areas that straddle state lines, such as New York City, Chicago, and Washington, D.C. Incredibly, this win-lose pattern holds true across county lines within many states.

There is a vast number of variables for both prospective parents and waiting children. Parents entering the system do much soul-searching to decide what kind of child they are able to parent. When a pediatric nurse in a small community says she wants to adopt a child with spina bifida or another developmental birth defect, she may wait years before one is available in her community. Meanwhile, 50 miles away, in another county, a child waits.

It is a national scandal that 25,000 children age out of foster care each year, while willing adoptive parents are ignored because they are in the wrong state, or even the wrong county. We must change the incentives in our adoption system so that everyone wins when a child finds a forever family.


JEFF KATZ is the founder and executive director of Listening to Parents (listeningtoparents.org), a national organization designed to eliminate barriers to the adoption of children in foster care.