When we received our referral for Muluken, I was pronouncing it more like "Muligan" except "Mulukin". But then I asked for help on the pronunciation and found out that I was totally wrong. His name sounds like "Moo" "Loo" "Ken". The /u/ sound is long.
Then, I found out what Muluken meant. "The day I got all I wanted". That was just heartbreaking. Here, his birth parents named him for everything they wanted but we were probably not part of that thought plan. He is such a special soul and has brought out so many new emotions to me.
I have always wanted to adopt but for years would look into it and then push the thought out of my head. We were licensed for foster care and still nothing happened for us. Adoption was still ringing in my ears but not so much for Brad. But, I couldn't get the thoughts out of my head. A lot of soul searching on both of our parts, a lot of discussion with the kids, and a lot of tears. We finally sent in our application.
Of course, we switched agencies and signed on with Holt in July of 2009, because our previous agency was quoting up to a 2 year wait for just a referral. So, I kept searching. I found our little boy on the Waiting Child listing. We saw his precious picture and read his file. We were matched with Muluken on July 23, 2009. Jordan's 11th birthday. I'll never forget the day! I got the call after 5pm and just started screaming and squealing and jumping around.
Now, I look back on the meaning of his name: The day I got all I wanted. That's exactly what I was feeling that day. That's exactly what I feel on the good days.
The days I struggle with Muluken is hard. Really hard. When he's upset, he shuts down. No tears. No words. He just looks down and pouts. He doesn't look for consoling. He doesn't look for a hug. He just stands there. Limp. It's so hard to try to reach out when he doesn't reach back. We're trying to get him to talk to us. Let us know what's going on. What's wrong. We usually can figure out what set him off, but trying to get him back to his happy self is really draining. I try to find my patience and help him work through it, but, I begin to become frustrated. It didn't seem to be so hard with my other kids. But then again, when they get upset with me, they yell back and that gets to me too. UGH!!
I pray to figure out this little man. I pray that he forgives me when I lose my patience. I pray that he learns to trust us and talk to us. I pray that this too, shall pass.
This is our very own reality show. We might not be as exciting as TV, but we have lots to share about our home, family, pets, and friends. This blog started with our journey to bring home our son from Ethiopia. We have now brought home another sweet boy from Ethiopia.
Monday, March 22, 2010
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
2 months home...
I can hardly believe it. Muluken has been here for 2 months. Yes, that's 8 weeks in the USA. He's been here for snow, rain, lots of mud, and now, some warmth. We were able to send him to school in only a sweatshirt this week and that's pretty exciting. No boots, snowpants, winter coat, hat, and mittens to put on.
I've been told by many people that he looks like he has really grown. Since I'm with him all the time, I haven't really seen it. He's still a peanut to me, but then again, I compare him to Noah, so that doesn't say much.
Muluken's english has really improved too. He holds a conversation with us in english, and only seems to struggle when he's really excited to tell us something and can't figure out the words quickly. He asks us questions, such as "what's this?" or "what's his name?". He really likes to know the name of everything (people and things). He listens to us give him directives or ask him questions and can understand us almost 90% of the time. He also likes to talk on the phone. He's been known to have conversations with Aunt Kris, Grandma Lenz, Great-Grandma Beck, Dorinda, and of course his Mom and Dad. He always says "hi", "bye", "I love you", "good", and answers yes and no questions. He's got such a cute little boy voice that I just melt everytime I hear him talk.
We've had to really limit the Nintendo DS and Wii. Muluken doesn't understand that we do not need to play these games 24/7, and will actually become very angry at us when he doesn't get to play them. So, it's been almost 2 weeks since he's played with the DS. He played the Wii this past Saturday with Noah and another little boy for about an hour, but as soon as the little boy left, the Wii was turned off. Until we can set some clear limits with Muluken, these games will be brought out very sparingly.
Muluken has really done great with our food. He pretty much eats everything the rest of us eat, except for ice cream and pasta with alfredo sauce. He really likes waffles, pancake & sausage, spaghetti & meat sauce, cookies, cake, eggs, popcorn, candy, juice, milk, orange soda, cheese, ketchup, chicken, mac -n- cheese, cereal, and fish. He has finally figured out that he DOESN'T need to finish everything on his plate. When he was at the care center, the rule must have been to finish everything, no matter what. When we had him at the hotel, he was always trying to eat everything, even when we knew the portion was way to big for him. Tonight, he even rubbed his tummy and giggled when we asked him if he was "all done".
Muluken has gotten into a night time routine. After dinner, he waits for Brad or I to call him for a bath. He takes a bath, dries off, lotions up, gets dressed, brushes teeth, and then finds me for his snuggle time. If I'm busy doing something, he'll look for Brad, but it's not the same. We always try to read a book with him and then we just snuggle until bed time which is 8pm. Muluken likes to crawl into my bed with me and watch TV or even just lay next to me and talk. I think I look forward to this time as much as he does.
Muluken also likes to crawl into our bed on weekend mornings. It's usually a family affair where everybody piles onto the bed and then there is usually a lot of tickling going on. Socks have been found on the ceiling fan. And there is usually somebody always getting hurt. There is a LOT of laughter and fun for all.
Muluken really likes to ride his new bike, jump on the trampoline, listen to music on the ipod, play his leapster, fly his helicopter, play with his big trucks and diggers, play with his Hot Wheels cars, throw the ball for the dogs, pet and kiss the puppies, color, draw pictures, dance and sing songs.
Muluken is quite known in our school district and neighborhood. Whenever we go out, people are saying hi to him and I have no idea who they are. When I go into the school, kids in different classrooms will tell me something Muluken did or said. It just amazes me how much attention our little man gets from others. We have had complete strangers come up and ask us questions. I have no problem with the people who are genuinely interested in him but the ones who only want to know how much international adoption costs annoy me. I need to get a thicker skin.
I'm so glad that we were matched with Muluken and that he's our little boy. His personality fits in with all of us and really makes our family complete. He is such a lovable little guy and has so much to share with everyone. I can't wait for him to be able to share more about his past and Ethiopia. He must have so many memories inside him. Hopefully one day we'll be able to hear all about them.
I've been told by many people that he looks like he has really grown. Since I'm with him all the time, I haven't really seen it. He's still a peanut to me, but then again, I compare him to Noah, so that doesn't say much.
Muluken's english has really improved too. He holds a conversation with us in english, and only seems to struggle when he's really excited to tell us something and can't figure out the words quickly. He asks us questions, such as "what's this?" or "what's his name?". He really likes to know the name of everything (people and things). He listens to us give him directives or ask him questions and can understand us almost 90% of the time. He also likes to talk on the phone. He's been known to have conversations with Aunt Kris, Grandma Lenz, Great-Grandma Beck, Dorinda, and of course his Mom and Dad. He always says "hi", "bye", "I love you", "good", and answers yes and no questions. He's got such a cute little boy voice that I just melt everytime I hear him talk.
We've had to really limit the Nintendo DS and Wii. Muluken doesn't understand that we do not need to play these games 24/7, and will actually become very angry at us when he doesn't get to play them. So, it's been almost 2 weeks since he's played with the DS. He played the Wii this past Saturday with Noah and another little boy for about an hour, but as soon as the little boy left, the Wii was turned off. Until we can set some clear limits with Muluken, these games will be brought out very sparingly.
Muluken has really done great with our food. He pretty much eats everything the rest of us eat, except for ice cream and pasta with alfredo sauce. He really likes waffles, pancake & sausage, spaghetti & meat sauce, cookies, cake, eggs, popcorn, candy, juice, milk, orange soda, cheese, ketchup, chicken, mac -n- cheese, cereal, and fish. He has finally figured out that he DOESN'T need to finish everything on his plate. When he was at the care center, the rule must have been to finish everything, no matter what. When we had him at the hotel, he was always trying to eat everything, even when we knew the portion was way to big for him. Tonight, he even rubbed his tummy and giggled when we asked him if he was "all done".
Muluken has gotten into a night time routine. After dinner, he waits for Brad or I to call him for a bath. He takes a bath, dries off, lotions up, gets dressed, brushes teeth, and then finds me for his snuggle time. If I'm busy doing something, he'll look for Brad, but it's not the same. We always try to read a book with him and then we just snuggle until bed time which is 8pm. Muluken likes to crawl into my bed with me and watch TV or even just lay next to me and talk. I think I look forward to this time as much as he does.
Muluken also likes to crawl into our bed on weekend mornings. It's usually a family affair where everybody piles onto the bed and then there is usually a lot of tickling going on. Socks have been found on the ceiling fan. And there is usually somebody always getting hurt. There is a LOT of laughter and fun for all.
Muluken really likes to ride his new bike, jump on the trampoline, listen to music on the ipod, play his leapster, fly his helicopter, play with his big trucks and diggers, play with his Hot Wheels cars, throw the ball for the dogs, pet and kiss the puppies, color, draw pictures, dance and sing songs.
Muluken is quite known in our school district and neighborhood. Whenever we go out, people are saying hi to him and I have no idea who they are. When I go into the school, kids in different classrooms will tell me something Muluken did or said. It just amazes me how much attention our little man gets from others. We have had complete strangers come up and ask us questions. I have no problem with the people who are genuinely interested in him but the ones who only want to know how much international adoption costs annoy me. I need to get a thicker skin.
I'm so glad that we were matched with Muluken and that he's our little boy. His personality fits in with all of us and really makes our family complete. He is such a lovable little guy and has so much to share with everyone. I can't wait for him to be able to share more about his past and Ethiopia. He must have so many memories inside him. Hopefully one day we'll be able to hear all about them.
Monday, March 15, 2010
Parent Teacher Conferences
Well, today was parent-teacher conferences for the kids. We had appointments for Noah and Muluken this afternoon and everybody went except for Cassie.
Muluken was NOT happy that he had to go to school. He had the entire day off with his Dad, brother, and sisters, and he didn't want to ruin that with going to SCHOOL! So, when I met them at the school, Muluken was in a full "pout".
We met with the kindergarten teacher first (Muluken's teacher). She hasn't assessed him very much on any of the benchmarks, but a few. He has passed the benchmark where you need to identify George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr, and Barack Obama. He didn't pass a different benchmark, which he would have no way of knowing right now. He was given 5 pictures and was told he needed to point to the "things he needs to live" and then point to the "things that you WANT". The pictures were: teddy bear, house, television, shirt & pants, and tons of food. Well, he actually lived with no big house, not much for any clothes, and very little food. So, why would he think he NEEDS these to live and survive. I see where the "life experiences" play a role.
He also had another benchmark that had pictures and he needed to put them under "water", "air", and "land". The teacher stated that he grabbed the helicopter right away and placed it under air. He also did the airplane and put it under air. Then, he took the boat and placed it under land. That's when I explained, that he has never seen any boat, except the one next to the public library (right down the street) that is sitting on a trailer and winterized. Jordan tried to explain to him about 2 weeks ago that it was a boat and that it goes in water, but how much he actually understood is beyond me. He doesn't understand what a lake is because everything around here is frozen ice. So, again, this is really hard for them to assess because his life experiences so far do not include boats.
Anyway, we're going to keep working on everything at home and school. We'll see where he's at the end of May and assess what is the best for Muluken for next school year.
Then we headed to Noah's conference, in the fourth grade classroom. We were given scores from 2 different tests (assessment) that he's taken. He's doing AWESOME!! He's advanced in 2 areas and proficient in 3 areas. He has mastered all of his math benchmarks and almost all of his language arts benchmarks. His teacher stated that there was no need for any summer school. What?!?!? I always send him for a little bit of extra help. Noah was grinning from ear to ear, knowing that he's going to have a great summer with NO SCHOOL!
We have also found out that Muluken LOVES the trampoline! Jordan has been taking him jumping a few times each day and he really likes it. He laughs and jumps, and laughs some more.
He also ate ice cream for the first time yesterday. Brad bought him an ice cream cookie sandwich and he ate it. He said "mmmmmm", but he also said "cold". So, today they went to Culver's and the kids went up to get their free ice cream. Muluken came running back to Brad and said "no ice cream" and "too cold". So, it might take a while before he eats it again!
Muluken was NOT happy that he had to go to school. He had the entire day off with his Dad, brother, and sisters, and he didn't want to ruin that with going to SCHOOL! So, when I met them at the school, Muluken was in a full "pout".
We met with the kindergarten teacher first (Muluken's teacher). She hasn't assessed him very much on any of the benchmarks, but a few. He has passed the benchmark where you need to identify George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, Martin Luther King Jr, and Barack Obama. He didn't pass a different benchmark, which he would have no way of knowing right now. He was given 5 pictures and was told he needed to point to the "things he needs to live" and then point to the "things that you WANT". The pictures were: teddy bear, house, television, shirt & pants, and tons of food. Well, he actually lived with no big house, not much for any clothes, and very little food. So, why would he think he NEEDS these to live and survive. I see where the "life experiences" play a role.
He also had another benchmark that had pictures and he needed to put them under "water", "air", and "land". The teacher stated that he grabbed the helicopter right away and placed it under air. He also did the airplane and put it under air. Then, he took the boat and placed it under land. That's when I explained, that he has never seen any boat, except the one next to the public library (right down the street) that is sitting on a trailer and winterized. Jordan tried to explain to him about 2 weeks ago that it was a boat and that it goes in water, but how much he actually understood is beyond me. He doesn't understand what a lake is because everything around here is frozen ice. So, again, this is really hard for them to assess because his life experiences so far do not include boats.
Anyway, we're going to keep working on everything at home and school. We'll see where he's at the end of May and assess what is the best for Muluken for next school year.
Then we headed to Noah's conference, in the fourth grade classroom. We were given scores from 2 different tests (assessment) that he's taken. He's doing AWESOME!! He's advanced in 2 areas and proficient in 3 areas. He has mastered all of his math benchmarks and almost all of his language arts benchmarks. His teacher stated that there was no need for any summer school. What?!?!? I always send him for a little bit of extra help. Noah was grinning from ear to ear, knowing that he's going to have a great summer with NO SCHOOL!
We have also found out that Muluken LOVES the trampoline! Jordan has been taking him jumping a few times each day and he really likes it. He laughs and jumps, and laughs some more.
He also ate ice cream for the first time yesterday. Brad bought him an ice cream cookie sandwich and he ate it. He said "mmmmmm", but he also said "cold". So, today they went to Culver's and the kids went up to get their free ice cream. Muluken came running back to Brad and said "no ice cream" and "too cold". So, it might take a while before he eats it again!
Thursday, March 11, 2010
Happy 6th Birthday Muluken!
His birthday crown from his kindergarten teacher!
Taking a spin (on the deck) on his new bike
Opening presents with a little help from Mom
Showing his mom how the helicopter will fly
His cool soccer cake that he shared with his Uncle Steve
We celebrated Muluken's 6th birthday on Sunday, March 5th, even though his actual birthday was on Tuesday, March 7th. We had his 2 grandmas, 1 great-grandma, aunts, uncles, cousins, and 3 special friends join our family to celebrate this very important day. Muluken became very shy at first, to the point of hiding in his bedroom, almost under his bed. I had to have him sit on my lap in the chair, facing the entire living room and kitchen area. He wouldn't make eye contact with anybody at first, but kept a smile on his face. He did eat the lasagna, french bread, carrots, fresh fruit, and M&M's, which were all chosen with him in mind. He didn't believe me the presents were all for him, so we had to show him that his name was on each card. He opened each present very slowly and became so excited over everything. EXCEPT the clothes. Those, he just looked at and left them in the bags. Boys learn this way too quickly! :) He always said "thank you" each time, even though I had to point out each person to him. He also went around giving everybody a "5" and saying thank you again. This was a lot easier than giving out hugs and kisses.
He really liked his remote control helicopter, legos, bike, Leapster games, nerf guns, cars, and rescue helicopter. He made quite the haul!
We all sang Happy Birthday to him, which I think was a little overwhelming for him. He just kept smiling. When Brad told him to say how old he was, he just leaned in and blew out all the candles with a big laugh. What a cutie!!
There was also an all-out battle with the nerf guns. Nobody was safe from the "boys". This would include Muluken, Noah, Justin, Mason, Casey, and Cody. It was just chaos for awhile. There were bullets flying in every direction!
After all of the guests left, I went for a walk with Tia and Tiger, Cassie, and Jordan, Noah and Muluken rode their bikes. It was a perfect end to a perfect day! Muluken went to bed that night with a big grin on his face!
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